Life isn’t perfect, and that’s why we have far more examples of complex, confusing, and hurting relationships than healthy ones. If you want your case to be an exception, here are some differences to help you distinguish between healthy and broken unions.
- Hierarchy – Equality
In failing relationships, it usually happens like this: one partner is above, while the other is below – moreover, they change places from time to time. That is, there’s a real struggle for status and power, for who has the last word, and who obeys whom. In such relationships, it’s difficult to reach out to your significant other.
In partnership relationships, people feel equal to each other and therefore show mutual respect and a willingness to negotiate. Nobody is higher or lower. Both are equal in their rights – you can procrastinate or chat with random Ukrainian brides online as long as you don’t criticize your partner’s guilty pleasures.
- Merging – individuality
In dependent relationships, couples think of themselves as a single whole, and everything should be the same – feelings, thoughts, reactions, and aspirations. They have no boundaries or areas of responsibility.
In partner relationships, couples recognize the uniqueness of their loved ones, their right to psychological space, and their own peculiarities. Since both partners feel equal, they respect the right to think and feel different.
- Partner’s needs – own needs
In crumbling relationships, partners focus their attention on their loved ones’ actions and behavior and what steps they need to take to influence them. It’s difficult for them to rely on themselves, so they look for support in something else.
In healthy relationships, people listen to themselves first and understand their feelings and needs. They can rely on their own resources, not connected in any way with another person. They don’t need to somehow influence their partner and achieve what they need by any means necessary.
- Resistance – cooperation
In an unhealthy relationship, the struggle for power results in resistance to the partner’s requests and desires, as well as active and passive aggression when one of the partners sabotages joint decisions, doesn’t say what they want, avoids discussing problems and clarifying the situation.
In partnership relationships, couples gladly cooperate, respond, or explain why they can’t do what the partner asks. Since the right to refuse is recognized, it usually doesn’t come across as painful.
The lack of mutual understanding and cooperation has always been the main relationship problem, but it’s Eastern European couples who suffer the most from it. You’ll discover its true significance if you find yourself dating a Ukrainian woman one day.
- Blame and criticism – respectful, calm communication
When falling apart, relationships bring a lot of painful experiences, discontent, and a constant feeling that you can’t afford to relax, show your vulnerability and sensitive spots, as the partner will immediately take advantage of them.
In partnership relationships, there’s generally no such thing as good or bad. Both partners are good. There are humor and acceptance, respect for each other’s needs, boundaries, and vulnerabilities. There’s a clear understanding that no one’s perfect and can make mistakes.