Ho Chi Minh City — Vietnam is set to welcome its newest concept restaurant, Wings ‘n’ Things, a subsidiary of Tribune Media Services. The chain is run by CEO Joel Brinkley. A Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, Brinkley left his post as journalism professor at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California, to oversee expansion into Vietnam and the rest of Asia.
“I wanted to bring my expertise on the Vietnamese palate and culture to the project to ensure we connect with the market,” said Brinkley. “We’re looking to fuse popular western fare with meats that are favored in Vietnam, but more difficult to come by since certain animals have been eaten to extinction here.”
Included on the menu will be delicacies such as barbecued gibbon ribs, Texas style cat meat chili, and rat burgers. Of course, Brinkley plans on using imported rat meat since rats can no longer be found in Vietnam, not even scurrying around the garbage. In addition to meat there will be a substantial amount of poultry and fowl offered. Looking to spread the Buffalo wing craze to SE Asia, Wings ‘n’ Things will put a twist on the concept by using only tropical varieties of fowl instead of chicken.
“We have a facility just across the border in Cambodia where we capture birds for their wings,” he said. Once the birds have been de-winged they will be released back into the wild to grow another set for the following season in order to help conserve their numbers. “We had to put the operation in Cambodia because it was the closest place that still has birds,” Brinkley commented. “As everyone can see, the entire bird population of Vietnam has been wiped out due to over eating.”
When asked about promoting even more meat eating in a country that has, according to his own opinion, grown aggressive due to its overconsumption of meat Brinkley replied, “I may have misspoke. I was going on the best evidence I had at the time, and that was that Vietnam was definitely an aggressive country that liked to fight wars because it eats meat.”
*No journalists were harmed in the writing of this satire.
santaKlause
i hear Los Pollos Hermanos is also opening up.
William Jones
Mr. Brinkley, I doubt your business venture would gather much success after your outrageously misleading and offensive op-ed about Vietnam from the Chicago Tribune. Good luck Mr. Brinkley.